How to Prepare for Birth as a Christian First-Time Mom: 4 Steps to Start
If you’re pregnant with your first baby, love Jesus, and have absolutely no idea where to start preparing for birth, you are not alone.
There is SO much information out there.
Birth plans. Hospital bags. Labor positions. Epidurals. Inductions. Breathing techniques. What to pack. What not to pack. What your husband is supposed to do. And then, of course, approximately 4,000 birth stories on social media telling you completely different things. 😅
After more than 10 years as a Labor & Delivery nurse, I’ve seen what actually helps women walk into birth feeling informed and prepared, and what tends to leave them feeling more overwhelmed.
If this is your first baby, I don’t want you trying to learn everything.
I want you to start with four things:
Learn how birth actually works
Prepare for labor before you’re in labor
Prepare your birth partner
Prepare your heart
Let’s walk through each one.
Prefer to watch?
I walk you through all four steps in the video below.
Learn How Birth Actually Works
One of the best things you can do before having your first baby is simply understand what is going to happen to your body during labor. You do not need to become a Labor & Delivery nurse. You definitely do not need to spend your third trimester Googling every rare complication that could possibly happen.
That is not preparation. That is a pretty efficient way to scare yourself. 😂 Instead, start with the basics. Learn the stages of labor and what contractions are actually accomplishing. Understand some of the signs that labor may be beginning, when your provider wants you to call or go to the hospital, and what you can generally expect when you arrive.
I also want first-time moms to learn about some of the common decisions that may come up during labor. You may hear conversations about fetal monitoring, Pitocin, breaking your water, pain medication, epidurals, induction, assisted delivery, or C-sections. Learning about these things does not mean you need to be afraid of them. I’m not anti-intervention. I’m an L&D nurse. I have watched interventions save lives.
But I also want you to understand your options and know what questions to ask so you can participate in decisions about your own care. One of the worst times to hear about something for the first time is while you’re exhausted, contracting, and someone is standing beside your bed asking you to make a decision.
Birth education isn’t about controlling your birth. It’s about understanding enough to participate in it.
Prepare for Labor Before You’re in Labor
You can read about every stage of labor and still have your first real contraction and think, “Okay...what the heck do I do now?” 😂
That’s why birth preparation needs to include practice, not just information. Before labor begins, spend some time learning what you can actually do during a contraction.
Practice slow, intentional breathing. Experiment with different labor positions. Learn how movement can help you cope. Have your husband practice counterpressure on your hips or lower back. Pay attention to what happens when you intentionally relax your jaw, shoulders, hands, and pelvic floor instead of tensing your entire body.
You don’t need 47 labor positions saved to your phone. You need a handful of tools you’ve practiced enough that they don’t feel completely foreign when labor starts. And YES, I still want you to learn coping techniques if you’re planning to get an epidural.
You may labor at home before going to the hospital. You may need to wait for anesthesia. You may decide you aren’t ready for your epidural yet. Your labor may move faster than expected. Breathing, movement, positioning, relaxation, and counterpressure are not reserved for moms planning an unmedicated birth. Every pregnant woman deserves to have tools.
Prepare Your Husband for Birth, Too
Please do not forget about the person who is going to be standing beside you. 😂 Your husband or birth partner does not need to become a doula. But he should understand the basics of labor, know what matters to you, and have some idea of how to help when contractions get hard.
Talk about your birth preferences together before labor begins. Practice your coping techniques together. Show him where you like counterpressure and how much pressure actually feels good. Talk about what kind of support you think you’ll want. Do you want encouragement? Physical touch? Reminders to breathe? Scripture read over you? Help communicating your preferences? Someone to remind you of the questions you wanted to ask?
You may not know exactly what you’ll want until you’re actually in labor, and that’s okay. But “just rub my back or something” probably shouldn’t be the entire birth support plan. 😂 I want your husband walking into your birth thinking, “We prepared for this. I know how to help her.” If you’re realizing right about now that BOTH of you could use some help preparing, this is a great place to start:
Pain Into Purpose is my 30-minute Christian birth class where I teach you what actually makes labor hurt, how fear can affect the way you experience contractions, practical ways to cope with labor, and how your faith fits into all of it.
Prepare Your Heart for Birth
This is the part I think traditional childbirth education often misses. You can understand labor. You can practice every position. You can have an incredible support person. And you still cannot control exactly how your birth will unfold. That’s why preparing for birth as a Christian mom should include preparing your heart, too. Start by identifying what you’re actually afraid of.
Maybe it’s the pain. Maybe you’re afraid something will happen to your baby. Maybe you’re worried about tearing, being induced, needing a C-section, losing control, or panicking when contractions become intense. Instead of leaving those fears swirling around in your head, name them. Bring those specific fears to God.
Find Scripture that speaks to what you’re struggling with. Write those verses down. Pray over your birth and your baby. Pray with your husband. Choose a few verses he can read over you during labor when you need them.
And yes, you can ask God for the birth you desire. You can pray to go into labor naturally. You can pray for an unmedicated birth. You can pray for an epidural that works beautifully. You can pray for a vaginal birth. You’re allowed to have preferences. You’re allowed to prepare for them. You’re allowed to ask God for them.
But there is an important difference between praying for a certain birth and believing that trusting God guarantees you that birth.
Sometimes, as Christian women, we accidentally turn “I’m trusting God with my birth” into “God is going to give me exactly the birth I’m praying for.” Those aren’t the same thing.
Faith isn’t knowing exactly how your birth story will go.
It’s knowing who is with you in it.
If your plans change, you did not fail. Getting an epidural does not mean you didn’t trust God enough. Being induced does not mean you failed. Having a C-section definitely does not mean you failed. Your birth is not a test of how much faith you have. You can prepare well, make informed decisions, pray boldly for the birth you desire, and still trust God with the parts you cannot control.
Where Should a First-Time Mom Start Preparing for Birth?
If birth preparation feels like one giant checklist right now, simplify it.
Start here:
Learn how birth works.
Practice coping with labor before labor begins.
Prepare your husband or birth partner.
Prepare your heart.
You do not need to know everything before your baby is born. And you definitely do not need to figure out how to control everything.
You can be educated and trust God. You can have birth preferences and hold them with open hands. You can prepare for the birth you hope for while building the tools you’ll need if things go differently.
And if you’re doing all of that but still thinking, “Okay Lauren, but I’m genuinely scared to give birth,” I have something for you next.
Watch: Christian and Scared to Give Birth? How to Choose Faith Greater Than Fear
Or start with my 30-minute Christian birth class, Pain Into Purpose, where we’ll talk about labor pain, fear, practical coping techniques, and how your faith fits into your preparation.
[WATCH PAIN INTO PURPOSE]
With love,
Lauren
