How to Prepare for Labor and Birth: Physically, Mentally & Spiritually
If you’re pregnant and wondering what you should actually be doing to prepare for labor and birth, I want you to think about your preparation in three areas: physically, mentally, and spiritually.
Because preparing for birth is about so much more than packing your hospital bag, making a birth plan, and hoping for the best.
After more than 10 years as a Labor & Delivery nurse, I’ve seen how much of a difference it can make when women understand what’s happening, have practical tools to cope with labor, know how to participate in decisions about their care, and have prepared their hearts for the parts of birth they cannot control.
You don’t need to predict exactly how your birth will go. You DO want to prepare yourself for walking through it.
So let’s talk about what that actually looks like.
Prefer to watch?
I walk you through how to prepare physically, mentally, and spiritually for labor in the video below.
How to Physically Prepare for Labor
When I talk about physically preparing for labor, I don’t mean finding some magical workout that guarantees you a fast labor, an unmedicated birth, or a baby that comes flying out. If someone figures that out, please let all of us L&D nurses know. 😂 Physical preparation is really about giving your body tools you can actually use during labor.
One of the first things I want you to practice is movement and positioning. Learn a few positions you can use during contractions, like leaning over the bed, getting on your hands and knees, sitting on a birth ball, side-lying, standing and swaying, or leaning on your partner for support.
You do not need to memorize 47 different labor positions. You just need options, because the position that feels amazing at three centimeters might make you want to throw something at six centimeters. I also want you to practice breathing and relaxation before labor. I know breathing sounds ridiculously simple. You’ve been breathing your entire life. But intentionally breathing through a contraction while relaxing your jaw, shoulders, hands, and pelvic floor is different.
Practice releasing tension instead of clenching every muscle in your body when something hurts. Then practice with your husband. Learn counterpressure together. Try different positions. Figure out what kind of touch feels good to you and what makes you immediately say, “Nope, don’t do that.” 😂 And please learn coping techniques even if you are 100% planning on getting an epidural.
You may labor at home before going to the hospital. You may have to wait for anesthesia. You may decide you aren’t ready for your epidural yet. Or birth may simply do something you weren’t expecting. Physical preparation isn’t about proving how much pain you can tolerate. It’s about having tools.
How to Mentally Prepare for Birth
This is where I think a lot of first-time moms underestimate how much there is to learn before birth. You don’t need to become an expert, but you should understand how labor actually works. Learn the stages of labor, what contractions are doing, how to recognize labor, when your provider wants you to go to the hospital, what happens when you arrive, and what pushing can actually look like.
I also want you to understand some of the common decisions that may come up during labor. You may hear about induction, Pitocin, breaking your water, fetal monitoring, pain management options, epidurals, or C-sections. Please do not spend the last month of pregnancy Googling every possible complication. You do not need that kind of chaos in your life. 😂
Instead, learn enough that when someone walks into your room and says, “Here’s what we’re recommending,” you have some context for that conversation. One of my favorite tools for this is the BRAIN acronym, which gives you a simple framework for asking about the Benefits, Risks, Alternatives, your Intuition, and what could happen if you do Nothing or Not Now.
I explain BRAIN more thoroughly in this article: [How to Feel Calm, Confident & Prepared for Birth as a First-Time Mom]
And I want to be really clear about something. Informed decision-making does not mean saying no to interventions. Sometimes you go through BRAIN, hear the recommendation, ask your questions, and say, “Yep. That sounds exactly like what we should do.” The goal isn’t to avoid interventions. The goal is to understand the conversation and have a voice in your care.
This is also the time to think through your birth preferences. What matters to you? What would you really like if your circumstances allow? What are you flexible about? What questions do you want to discuss with your provider before labor? And include your husband in these conversations. He should understand the basics of labor, know your preferences, know how to help you cope, and ideally know how to use BRAIN with you.
You don’t want to be six centimeters dilated trying to give your husband a crash course on labor between contractions. Preparing mentally for birth is not about predicting every possible scenario. It’s about understanding birth well enough that you can participate in decisions as they happen.
How to Spiritually Prepare for Birth
This is the piece I think gets left out of traditional childbirth education far too often. Start by identifying what you’re actually afraid of. Not just, “Birth scares me.” What specifically scares you?
Maybe it’s the pain. Maybe you’re afraid of losing control, tearing, getting an epidural, being induced, needing a C-section, something happening to your baby, or your birth going completely differently than you hoped.
Name those fears and bring those actual fears to God.
Find Scripture that speaks to what you’re struggling with. Choose a few verses you want to come back to during labor and write them down somewhere your husband can easily find them. Talk about your fears together. Pray over your birth and your baby together.
And yes, ask God for the birth you desire. But I also want you to practice surrender now.
You can prepare physically. You can understand labor. You can make informed decisions. You can have an incredible support person. And you still cannot guarantee exactly how your birth will unfold.
Sometimes I think Christian women feel like we have two choices. Either we prepare for everything and try to control our birth, or we say, “God’s got it,” and don’t prepare at all.
I don’t believe either extreme is the answer. You can prepare really well and surrender really well. You can know your options and trust God. You can advocate for yourself and trust God. You can have birth preferences and trust God. You can change those preferences during labor and trust God. Those things are not opposites.
And on the other side, you can pray every day for your birth and still feel completely overwhelmed during labor if you don’t understand what’s happening to your body or the decisions you’re being asked to make.
Christian birth preparation should not make you choose between good childbirth education and your faith.
You Can Be Educated About Birth AND Trust God
That belief is actually why I created Faith Greater Than Fear Birth™.
After more than 10 years as a Labor & Delivery nurse, I wanted Christian women to have childbirth education that didn’t make them choose between understanding birth and trusting God through it.
Inside Faith Greater Than Fear Birth™, I walk you and your husband through how labor actually works, how to cope with contractions, pain management options, common interventions, informed decision-making, birth preferences, partner support, and how to prepare spiritually for birth.
My goal isn’t for you to finish the course thinking, “I know exactly how my birth is going to go.” I want you walking into birth thinking: “I understand what’s happening. I know my options. I know how to ask questions. My husband knows how to support me. And even if this doesn’t go exactly the way I pictured it, God is with me.”
LEARN MORE ABOUT FAITH GREATER THAN FEAR BIRTH™
So, What Should You Actually Do to Prepare for Labor?
Think about your preparation in those three areas. Prepare physically by giving your body tools you can use during labor. Practice movement, positioning, breathing, relaxation, and coping techniques before contractions begin. Prepare mentally by understanding birth, learning your options, thinking through your preferences, and preparing yourself and your husband to participate in informed decisions.
And prepare spiritually by bringing your fears to God, filling your mind with truth, praying for the birth you desire, and practicing surrendering the parts you cannot control. You don’t need to predict your birth to prepare well for it. And you don’t need to choose between being educated and trusting God. You can do both.
Watch Next: How to Pray Through Every Stage of Labor
Now that we’ve talked about preparing spiritually for birth, let’s make that really practical.
In the next video, I walk you through how to pray during each stage of labor, including early labor, active labor, transition, pushing, and what to pray when your birth plans change.
With love,
Lauren
